Mini Review – Birds of Prey, Vol.1: End Run

Birds of Prey, Vol. 1: End RunBirds of Prey, Vol. 1: End Run by Gail Simone

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

CAUTION: This book is not meant to be taken seriously. At least, I don’t think it is. It’s pretty much laughing at itself as it goes. Either that, or it falls into the category of pompous books that think cheese is wine. 

So the White Canary is back and mysteriously gets hold of everybody’s data. By that, I mean she knows what brand of toothpaste Bruce Wayne uses on Tuesdays.

Well, it’s not so mysterious how she got it. She tortured poor Savant into giving it and I guess Creote was just watching from the sidelines and eating popcorn.

Anyhow, she’s out to get some honourable revenge for the defeat of her 12 brothers – you know, the ones in Silk (‘cos I don’t know) – by blackmailing Black Canary into fighting her. Or her substitute, Shiva. It’s all honourable and full of integrity all round.

That’s the plot, and in between, there’s a lot of Barbie-high-induced girl power friendship and tequila shots to go around. The Penguin spends most of his time providing the panels detailing everyone’s pin-up girl fantasies of the team and then suddenly gets up to show that gushing arteries never stop true villainy. Only cleavage shots of Dinah.

Penguin’s got his priorities straight.

Oh right, Barbara Gordon, the Oracle, is there too. She’s purportedly the premier info-jock of the DC Universe and can’t stop a single TV broadcast from airing. Or find out where Sin is. She does, however, successfully manage to get Savant and Creote together, so maybe she should consider matchmaking services. MeetMyFuture.com and all that.

Also worth notable mention is Zinda’s faker-than-Kim-Kadarshian-slang and the generally cheesy events in the book.

And the bird-brained jokes continue…

Take Black Canary for example. She fights crime, tutors martial arts students and is the chairperson of the JLA, all without a mask, and you’re telling me no ever noticed she looked a lot like Dinah Lance? No wonder that Asian gal got as far as she did with her vengeance plan.

That case was pretty funny too. She’s dressed exactly like Dinah, only in white and from the moment she appears, is busy kicking butt, but it takes a special arm-lock throw for Black Canary to realise who she is. Well, she wasn’t known for her intellect anyway.

That’s right, Dinah. Tell your deadly foe your next move.

Hawk and Dove are exactly what they sound like. The former is big, scary, frowning all the time and the latter likes to dress in white, has a fluffy chest and coos a lot. Inspired pair, they are.

Really, I wasn’t joking. Hawk has anger management issues, is the alter ego of Hank Hall and is called…Hawk. Does that sound familiar to you? The only difference is, no body hair (yay for Anne!).

The art…is…lush. I actually like Benes’ work, if you remember, but this time, everyone except the Penguin got their lips Botoxed to scary levels. The hair also has tendency to swish dramatically and grow to unexplained levels. And Huntress is wearing purple Fruit-of-the-Loom thingies.

VERDICT: It’s The Expendables with an all female cast and none of the explosions. It can be summed up in three B’s – Botox, Boobs and Birds.

And where is Batman while all this is happening in his own turf?!

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