My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Possibly this isn’t a very original idea, but anyway.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the high school yearbook version of The Madman’s Daughter!
Moreau Island High School
School slogan: No is not a word
Has the potential to become best student of the year…if she gets out of her own way.
Brains and beauty in one package…not that the boys noticed her brains.
Naturally talented at everything…so naturally daddy issues.
Hobbies: Dissecting, angsting, daydreaming
Favourite song: Haunted by Taylor Swift
Voted “Most Indecisive Personality of the Year”
Quote: “I’d thought I was so clever. I thought I could see past his manipulations. But I’d heard only what I wanted to.”
Editor’s comment: When Juliet was born, I’m pretty sure deus ex machina sat up, took notice and said, “Hallelujah! Finally I got someone to play with!”
Montgomery…I don’t know his name
The school jock with an obvious heart of gold…and less obvious brains of iron. ‘Cause they’re obviously rusty.
Popular with the girls…of all species.
Good at everything and anything…except doing what common sense demands.
Hobbies: Body-building(?), secretly experimenting, home economics
Favourite song: You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift
Voted “Most Likely to Succumb to Parental Expectations”
Quote: “”It’s not this island keeping us from being friends.”
Editor’s comment: The good doctor made a mistake. It was Montgomery that was born without a spine, not Juliet.
The dark horse that nobody wants to approach…because he is creepily like another Edward from YA.
Survives a brutal 10-12 days at navy camp with no food or water…but can’t resist the doe eyes of a teenage girl.
Intelligent enough to be successful…so yet again hampered by a dark past.
Hobbies: Reading, staring intensely, haute couture
Favourite song: Teardrops on My Guitar
Voted “Most Likely to Found in a Dark Corner of the School”
Quote: “Don’t run.”
Editor’s comment: Poor Edward. He had so much potential to be interesting. Unfortunately his cranium is programmed to give Juliet most of its space.
Barely worth mentioning here…but is here anyway.
Has a sweet disposition and appearance…so is the equivalent of a doormat.
Doesn’t intend to cause any trouble…and does only that by making certain parties jealous.
Hobbies: Gardening, Montgomery, sewing
Favourite song: Love Story
Voted “Least Likely to Be Remembered without an Yearbook”
Editor’s comment: Not really sure which Shakespearean play has an Alice in it. Is it the one by Lewis Carroll?
Possibly the most sadistic, inhumane academic who ever lived, Dr.Moreau founded Island High School as a testing ground for ground-breaking, heart-breaking new ‘educational’ theories. He can often be found in the chemistry lab, trying to get the formula for a perfect student just right. Don’t let the bloodstains on his coat put you off; he’s quite approachable and is willing to talk about anything so long as it centres around an operating table.
Words of wisdom: “Don’t be alarmed if you’re awoken. The animals – they scream, you know. An unfortunate effect of vivisection.”
The friendly, easy-going gym teacher. He may look positively grotesque, but beneath that is a sweetheart who just wants to be loved. The least paid among the teachers since the costs for breaking tennis racquets have to be taken out of his pay.
You’ll never see this Biology teacher coming. Literally. Well known for his propensity to sneak up on students texting in class. Strict but fair – he guts the students who don’t do their homework, takes the others on a fieldtrip.
You can hardly see this Theology teacher around, but he does turn up for classes. Rumour has it that he likes boating and is a fan of Rudolph the Reindeer.
And that’s it, folks! I’ve run out of steam. Not particularly impressive this time round, but I tried. You can’t fault me for that, can you? On the other hand, so did the book, and look where that got it…