Book Review – The Dark Days Pact

The Dark Days Pact (Lady Helen, #2)The Dark Days Pact by Alison Goodman

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

London, 1812

To Lady Helen,

My dearest friend, I have been following your adventures with anticipation for quite some time now. When you told me of a secret society that vanquished demons hiding among the populace, no one was more thrilled than me that you were to be a part of it. I lived vicariously through your missives for a while, and I was proud to call you a friend.

Then, of course, we could not communicate for a few months, and I must confess, some of the details of your trials slipped my mind. I hope you will not judge me too harshly when I say that I had difficulty recalling names and events. When you spoke of losing the Colligat, I had to sift through my old letters to bring it back to mind.

That said, since I will be judging you quite harshly from now, perhaps you would be fully justified in berating my poor memory. Continue reading

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Book Review – The Girl on the Train

The Girl on the TrainThe Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

So, for my first review as a member of the MacHalo group, and the associated reading challenge, I’m doing a book that was made into a movie or TV show. The Girl on the Train has a film coming out this year starring Emily Blunt, so I think it counts.

This time the book gets an Honest Movie Trailers style review because it is an over-hyped boring story. I love antagonizing the public (evil grin).
Continue reading

Shallow Reader Post – Magdalena

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Happy Leap Year Day, everyone! It’s been a while since I rage ranted in a snide fashion, so I decided not to disappoint. As an archaeology student, I always revel in someone else’s misery. Especially my own. Here’s an excerpt:

I don’t want to recount the plot because it gives me the hives just thinking about it. But in essence it is:

STORY 1

Magdalena (the new one) is sent out to kill Jackie Enchilada Esta-something
Jackie has IQ reducing conversations with his literal demons
A prostitute and an enthusiastic Christian zealot have a pointless conversation on a bus
Some girl is dying of a coma somewhere and is somehow related to Jackie
Maggie finds Jackie
Fight scenes ensue where Maggie says meaningful things like, “The power of Christ compels you” and “OMG”
Jackie and the tentacle monsters say meaningful things like “!@£% you, ^&*$!”

Read the rest of that fairly long rant here. And then heave a sigh of relief that a certain someone finally won the Oscar 😉

Get this review and more at:

Shallow Reader Post – Scarlet Witch

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Something about the proportion of her legs is off.. 

Good day to you, fair reader! I just want to apologise for last week’s post – it was a day late, it didn’t have tags or an email excerpt, and had nothing to do with anything…I’ve just been really busy. So.

This time round is a terrible collection of stories about the Scarlet Witch, the hex-using, probability-altering Avenger. Here’s a bit of my review:

This book is so bad, it’s hilarious.
I understand the material is old (it’s stuff from the 70’s), it was a different time back then and comics are still not that kind towards women.
But.
I recommend this only if you:

(a) Want to have every feminist bone in your body broken horribly
(b) Want to read a series of useless stories that defy common sense
(c) Want to see Wanda in a swimsuit

I promise that my ranting is quite entertaining for the bystander, so click here to read it.

Get this review and more at:

Shallow Reader Post – Secret Origins Vol.2

Look at those thighs! She could be a linebacker!

November is here and I’m wondering how the year went by so fast. Soon I’ll be looking for excuses to buy books for myself at Christmas… Meanwhile, I’ve been cheerfully ingesting a bunch of comics and as usually happens when you eat too fast, I choked on this one:

It took me several days to read this tombstone. I am just going to do one line impressions of each story, ’cause I’ve had a long day and this is not worth it.

Chapter 1: In which the Stone family is introduced through some lame dialogue and DC screws up their own timeline while Victor deals with anger management issues.

Chapter 2: In which Bruce Wayne has a George Clooney chin but not the vinyl suit and Jason goes for ninja training to deal with anger management issues.

Chapter 3: In which we get gratuitous cleavage of Mera while she thinks furiously about Aquaman to deal with her exiled kingdom’s anger management issues.

Read me ranting about 21 chapters of anger issues in my usual snide way, over here.

Book Review – The Great Zoo of China

The Great Zoo of ChinaThe Great Zoo of China by Matthew Reilly
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Warning: Lots of rage-ranting and spoilers ahead.

Once upon a time, there was a book that desperately wanted to cash in on Jurassic World. Somehow this book managed to sneak a look at the script and thought, “Well, if I just change the dinos to dragons, no one will notice!” But the book knew it needed some science to back it up, or it would lose credibility. What with all those reviewers on GR coming down like a ton of bricks on every novel these days, it decided to Google some stuff and again hope that no one would notice. And apparently, the tactic sorta worked.  Continue reading

Shallow Reader Post – Tortured Life

I got sucked in by the cover, and then just plain suckered.

After a jaunt in certain sunny countries and neglecting this blog, I have a short post on a horror(?) comic from Netgalley. Meet Tortured Life, everyone. It wasn’t that great, as you’ll see from an excerpt:

The protagonist, whom I fondly call Gene (short for Generic Hero) because I can’t remember his unremarkable name, is an ordinary man with a not so ordinary ability. Our buddy Gene can see how people are going to die, but not in trippy visions or Morse code messages. He unfortunately has to see everything like Schrodinger’s cat : alive and dead at the same time.

If you are at all intrigued, by either my dead reaction or the premise, check out the review here. Otherwise, I promise more reviews are on their way and possibly even a travelogue. See you later!